He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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