You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
