Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
