I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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