hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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