i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
