Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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