found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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