Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
