I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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