MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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