I am in a vortex of obligation.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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