i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
