I hate all girls vehemently.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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