So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
