If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
