you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
