Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
