I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
