I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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