What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
