I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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