He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
