JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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