can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
