I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
