I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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