He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
