So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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