how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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