i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
