make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
