You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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