I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize