I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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