Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
