She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
