You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
