these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
