I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
