I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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