So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
