i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All I want is dick and wine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
