i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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