You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize