Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
