I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
