who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize