I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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