Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i think i just lost a toe
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
