Me too!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
