with your own penis?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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