he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
