So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
