he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
