How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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