I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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