I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize