The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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