Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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