If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i out mim tonsoeep
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