The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
