I wish I only lived at night.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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