I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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