i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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