I bet he comes in French.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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