Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
