how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
