please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
