so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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