You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Alive.
So much puke
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
