areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
