so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
