Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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