May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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