Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize